I spent my first four years at Blue Ridge feeling pretty alone.

We’re a big church. My husband and I had a newborn and a 2-year-old in tow when we first moved to town, and we weren’t exactly social butterflies. It was easy to feel lost in the crowd. So we basically had one foot in and one foot out the door for years.

The main thing that kept us coming back was the truth we received each Sunday, the closeness we felt with God here and a few friends we made.

I guess we could have stayed in that place — show up, listen to a message and leave. But the truth is that we wanted more than that.

Maybe you do, too.

But getting connected, feeling like Blue Ridge is your home, may seem elusive. I totally get that. I grew up in a country church that averaged 60 people a Sunday. At Blue Ridge, we have more preschoolers than that on a Sunday. It’s overwhelming.

Still we all need community, and it is possible to find it. Now, when I come on a weekend, it feels like coming home.

How did this happen?

Let me share five secrets to connection that I’ve learned in the last decade. I pray it helps you find your place, too.

  1. Pray about it! Ask God for direction on getting plugged in. When you ask, expect Him to put a serving opportunity or a group on your heart.

  2. Don’t wait for someone to ask you to join, go for it! If you are feeling God’s prompting, sign up and show up. I think we sometimes assume that just because no one has invited us, that we are not welcome. That’s a lie the enemy tells us to keep us alone. You are more than welcome!

  3. Understand that a weekend service isn’t enough. When we believe we can get connected by only attending services, we’re setting ourselves up for failure. You wouldn’t go to a Friday night movie, sit in the audience and leave feeling upset that you didn’t make a friend. Likewise, just coming and listening isn’t going to create connection.

  4. Give it time. One of the greatest challenges of adulthood is making time and space for relationships. Hang in there. Ask others about their lives. Invite them to coffee. Share about your life. Relationships require time, but your return on investment is great.

  5. Know that God has you here for a purpose. I remember when I first started serving in Kids Community that there were about six adults in a room with 12 three-year-olds. That felt silly to me. Why was I wasting my time? My leader encouraged me, “If God called you here, He has a purpose for you. Wait and see.” Boy, was she right! Soon, I was helping to lead that preschool team. Sometimes from the outside it may not seem like God can use you, but He can. He has a purpose for you.

Learn more about serving and groups here at Blue Ridge. Welcome home!