In the past few years as I have personally navigated adoption and also walked with families formed through adoption and foster care, I have seen the joys and struggles of this journey. In thinking about the adoption and foster care prayer ministry we have here at Blue Ridge, I recently told someone that if I had to do it over again, I wouldn’t have started with families bringing children into their homes. I would have begun with those who may never have children in their homes but who have a heart for the orphan.
Because what I’ve learned is that families who adopt or foster need more support than they can possibly imagine when they first complete a home study or fill out an agency application. While the challenges and complexities of adoption and foster care can sometimes feel overwhelming to the families, when God calls them to adopt/foster, God equips.
One way He does this is through the Body. Galatians 6:9-10 gives good guidance for how we, as the Church, can approach missions of compassion, like adoption and foster care.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (NIV)
Let us not become weary
When you are living a life of compassion, a life of ministry, whether caring for the orphan, the widow or the homeless, it can be tiring. From a worldly perspective, if you’re looking for a quick return on investment, this is not wise stock.
I see a lot of foster/adoptive families who come into it with starry eyes grow weary as they encounter challenges, sometimes unfathomable challenges. They are answering God’s calling, doing good to all people. Yet, it can feel heavy…and we need the Body to help us in those moments.
I’ve experienced this. When my wife Janna and I had two children staying with us last year (two children whose parents needed time and space to work on getting healthier), there were six of us in a two-bedroom townhouse.
This was tiring. But over and over, our community provided the support we needed to keep going. The week we got the children, friends grocery shopped and filled our pantry. We had other friends who watched the children so we could have a date night. Friends helped us install hardwood flooring because four children in a small space were destroying our carpet. Our air conditioner broke and a friend got it fixed for us at no charge to us. Other friends gave us gift cards.
I saw that as Janna and I filled the call to “do good to everyone,” the Body was fulfilling the second part in caring for “those who belong to the family of believers.”
To those who belong to the family
In a way, it’s easier to enlist people to adopt or foster children than it is to find families to support those caregivers. I think it’s because people don’t have a category for the support families need to walk this out well. They don’t necessarily see the need.
But if you ask a family adopting or fostering to tell you their story, you will hear their needs. You will hear the financial, emotional or social strains. And when you hear that, pray and ask God how you can respond.
Guys, this doesn’t have to be big stuff. I know a dad who gets teary not because of the big financial gifts his family received when in the adoption process, but by the friends who bring them a dozen fresh eggs each week. Every week. It’s a simple, but consistent gesture that reminds the dad that he and his family are not alone. They have support.
I also know a couple who have taken in a young mother and her newborn to help them get started in life. This is a big, big responsibility. They live in my neighborhood, so I texted a number of families I know who also live there. People are starting to pitch in to give the young mom rides to counseling. Some moms are willing to watch the baby. Some have made themselves available to go to the grocery store with her. There are still needs, but as a community, we are making an effort to help this family.
I’d love to see a culture develop at Blue Ridge where we organically care for families of adoption and foster care.
If reading this causes something to stir in your heart, ask God how you can “do good” to the family of believers. Look at the areas where you serve or grow. Is there a person or couple in that group who is adopting or fostering? Ask them about it.
You may never have a child in your home, but you can help to care for the orphan.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. — James 1:27 (NIV)