Looking back on a pretty normal and comfortable childhood, I recall being taken by my parents to my church in Richmond. We attended weekly, and I even went to youth group meetings on Sunday nights. We memorized scripture, sang songs and prayed.
I turned to atheism in my teens and only came back to Christianity as an adult who finally recognized his need for God. The church did a fine job of supplementing my Christian living. But teaching alone didn’t draw me to Christ.
Unfortunately, we as parents may assume that the church is the primary place where children learn about what it means to be a Christian. It's not.
It's your home. It's my home.
We teach our children how to drive, how to do laundry, how to date, how to manage money, how to respect, how to live, how to love. Why wouldn't we teach them the most important thing? Nothing is more vital for your focus than the spiritual and eternal considerations for your child. Nothing. All else cascades from this.
Don’t get me wrong, church provides a wonderful supplement to raising children to know Jesus. But there is a very real practical problem. And it's a doozy. The church sees our kids one to two hours a week. That's 50 to 100 hours a year, basically two to four days a year.
The Most Significant Religious Influences Survey (of Protestant youth) asked this: Who influences religious thinking the most in a youth’s life?
Yes, churches do have a significant influence on kids’ religious thinking, with pastors coming in at number three on the list. But mothers and then the fathers carry the top two slots.
Number one and number two. By a long stretch.
We parents need to step up if for no other reason than our kids look to us first! Scary, huh? That's OK. The big things can be pretty scary, but God always equips us when we ask.
In my own parenting, I’m learning what this looks like. Here are a few places to start:
• Set aside time. You don't have to have a high and mighty devotion as a family, but merely getting everyone to sit down for 15 minutes and go through a family-friendly devotional book (I like the Faith@Home books put out by Focus on the Family). Enjoy the conversations and prayers. Over time, this creates a family tradition . .. And maybe even some fond family memories.
• Don’t be afraid of the big questions. You don't have all of the answers. What's great is to teach your children how to explore their faith: pray and review God’s Word. Do that together. Research. Discuss. Do this in the car, before bed, watching a football game. Whenever it comes up.
• Grow in your own walk. If you were asked to be the primary source of your child’s education on algebra, then you would frantically prepare. Well, you ARE the primary source of your child’s education on what it means to be a Christ-follower. Prepare! Bible. Books. Prayer. Get connected to a group. Your most important and prized possessions are waiting to be led.
• Connect with other Godly parents. Community is an important aspect of the early Acts church and it has not changed in the last two millennia. The good news is that you do not have to do this parenting thing alone. We sometimes let pride get in the way of reaching out (Facebook and other social media at times presents a perfect image of families. Believe me, everyone struggles).
• Seek God’s direction. Proverbs is an excellent place to learn about parenting and frankly living. A chapter from Psalms is an excellent start to any personal devotion time. Then pray for your children. Individually. Focus on them and their needs. Do not be afraid to ask your kids what their needs are. . .what you can pray for. This is your time to focus on them and model what it looks like to follow Christ.
-Randy Dunn