Bernie and Sofia Hale married young and soon found that despite their desire to follow God, they had many obstacles — Bernie’s past, their financial situation and infidelity. They tried counseling and a marriage program in Florida. But the same patterns and unchanged hearts led to heartbreak.
After 17 years of marriage, Sofia decided she could no longer live with Bernie’s infidelity. She told him that she “wanted out” in 2007. In the next year and a half, while they were separate and her husband lived in Florida, Sofia began attending DivorceCare at Blue Ridge. She said, “I was angry, fearful…and felt alone most of the time. When I came to DivorceCare, I wanted to know if divorce was for me and I was not sure what to expect.”
But during DivorceCare, God began to change her heart. She acknowledged her part in the situation. At the same time, God was moving in Bernie’s life. Bernie’s father had confronted him about whether he really trusted God. In that moment, Bernie was devastated, but realized that he hadn’t really trusted God with his marriage. He called Sofia, who asked him to come to Virginia.
Reconciliation was not immediate. But they began to date and talk and to move closer to God and each other. Bernie began to attend Engage, a Blue Ridge men’s group. Bernie said listening to the other men be transparent about their journeys with God challenged him. He realized that in the past he had justified his actions by the good things he was doing with his life. Through Engage he saw he had to surrender everything to Christ.
“Going to Engage, it taught me to stand up and see that I’m the one who’s flawed,” he said. “I think a lot of people fear being pointed at. At Engage I saw an openness and no judgment — being able to see other people’s hearts and seeing that you count.”
Today, Bernie and Sofia are seeking God together as husband and wife. They continue to pray for His purpose in their lives, but they are thankful that the body of Christ surrounded them when they needed it.