My name is Loghan Goins-Phillips. I am 21, and a senior at Liberty University.
I joined this fall’s Women’s Bible Study when my friends decided they were going to be a part of it and invited me. Having grown up in a Christian home, I never expected to gain so much through this study, as “I knew all there was to know.”
I was living a life full of sin and had held onto anger and bitterness toward God for what I was and still am walking through. Last year, in my junior year of college, I became involved in an inappropriate, manipulative relationship, and things went south faster than I ever imagined. Before I knew it, the relationship turned into a sexually and mentally abusive, hurtful, painful one.
I knew I had to get out, but I didn’t know how to. I was clinging to what I thought was love, acceptance, and affirmation. One night, however, all of that changed when my “no” was ignored. I had no value, and what I said certainly meant nothing. That night changed my life, and I believe I will never be the same.
The first night of Women’s Bible Study came. I had felt anxious about it for many days leading up to the first session. I knew God was going to do something, and I simply wasn’t ready to let go of my hurt, guilt, and shame. However, my call for help turned into sharing with my Bible Study Group, and meeting with Dawn Hamilton (WBS leader) week after week. She asked me the hard questions, made me feel vulnerable, and constantly pushed me to truth. It was painful, slightly annoying, yet oddly freeing.
One meeting in particular, she told me that I needed to figure out what I wanted. She saw something in me that was missing, a disconnect between who I was and who I needed to be.
Well, the next time I met her began as one of the worst days of this year. I overslept, missed a class, got into a car accident, and was feeling very sick. Pulling into the church, the song “Broken Things” by Matthew West was on the radio. I didn’t pay much mind to it, as it was just another cheesy, typical Christian song.
After Dawn and I talked for about an hour, she asked what I wanted to do, and I said I’d like to pray and ask the Lord what He wants me to do. Dawn suggested we listen to a song, and took my advice and clicked shuffle on her phone and let the Lord pick the song, something I like to refer to as the “holy shuffle.” And yes, that same cheesy Christian song began playing.
As I listened to the words, the Holy Spirit began speaking to me, inviting me to take a seat at His table of grace, telling me that I needed to surrender my life to Him before He could truly heal me. And there in her office, I prayed the most genuine prayer I have ever prayed. I pleaded to Christ to heal me, forgive me, and draw me to Himself.
In that moment, I gave my life to Christ, handing over every power, every hurt, every bit of shame and guilt, and begged God to rescue me. And He did.
I have a long journey ahead, but I can confidently say that I now have the perfect Healer and beautiful Creator as my guide. What more could I ask for? All of this started because I walked into this Bible study… God is good, and I refuse to believe otherwise.